Because it's been awhile since I've made fun of random stupid crap on the internet. This is an article originally published on HuffPo, entitled "23 Things to do Instead of Getting Engaged When You're 23." Written by someone who feels inadequate because she's single and she's seeing lots of facebook friends getting married, so here's her superiority play.
1. Get a passport. Got it in college, thanks. Although, I do need a new one now that I've changed my last name.
2. Find your "thing." Omg, my brain would scare you. There are new THINGS every day. I will never have just one Thing.
3. Make out with a stranger. Have, several times. It is possible for this to happen pre-23 and pre-engagement. Does that blow your mind??
4. Adopt a pet. We have two. We have fostered several others. Dogs specifically are probably more difficult to own when you're single, actually. If all you're interested in at 23 is making out with strangers and #11, maybe it's too soon for you to have sole responsibility of another living thing anyways.
5. Start a band. No. I'm not the band-starting type and I hate to play music in public.
6. Make a cake. Don't feel like it.
7. Get a tattoo. Got one before him. Got the second one after marriage. Neither have anything to do with him, but I'm working on one that does. Next?
8. Explore a new religion. I know some about lots. My beliefs have changed since we've been together. I'm sure they're not done changing.
9. Start a small business. At 23? Or even 26? THAT is something I'm not ready for, but something that WE would love to do together. Awhile from now.
10. Cut your hair. ...because we live in biblical times, or....? Have you SEEN my hair lately??
11. Date two people at once Um, no. I thought it was icky then, still think it's icky now.
12. Build something with your hands. I...what?
13. Accomplish a Pinterest project. Oooookay.
14. Join the Peace Corps. Thought about it. Didn't. (I'm noticing that some of these suggestions are considerably more time-intensive and commitment-heavy than others...)
15. Disappoint your parents. I did when I started piercing stuff. Also did when I didn't marry a Catholic. Check and CHECK.
16. Watch Girls, over and over again. I tried watching it once and just couldn't. Now, Gilmore Girls, YES. When Devin isn't home. Sometimes when he is.
17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting. Dude, Devin and I FIGHT over the Nutella. He knows to buy the giant-size jars.
18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places. That is one of our favorite things to do when we go out. Apart, we're useless!
19. Sign up for CrossFit. Again, no.
20. Hangout naked in front of a window. Yes, that happens periodically.
21. Write your feelings down in a blog. WTF am I doing right now??
22. Be selfish. Oh, I'm plenty selfish. I never refuse my husband's offer to rub my feet or make dinner.
23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year. No. I lack time, money, and a desire to even share breathing space with you, none of which are related to my marital status.
I mean, come on. I feel like she's trying to be somewhat satirical, but it doesn't translate well. It just seems judgmental, condescending, and uninformed. I will agree that plenty of 23-year-olds aren't ready for marriage, and when I hear that certain people in my age range have gotten engaged/married, I silently think, "hmm, wonder how long that'll last?" But damn. That doesn't apply to everyone just because of age. We got married because we knew this was it. And we didn't want to wait until some preconceived notion of appropriate marrying age because, well, we didn't care, and we were ready. The end.
1. Get a passport. Got it in college, thanks. Although, I do need a new one now that I've changed my last name.
2. Find your "thing." Omg, my brain would scare you. There are new THINGS every day. I will never have just one Thing.
3. Make out with a stranger. Have, several times. It is possible for this to happen pre-23 and pre-engagement. Does that blow your mind??
4. Adopt a pet. We have two. We have fostered several others. Dogs specifically are probably more difficult to own when you're single, actually. If all you're interested in at 23 is making out with strangers and #11, maybe it's too soon for you to have sole responsibility of another living thing anyways.
5. Start a band. No. I'm not the band-starting type and I hate to play music in public.
6. Make a cake. Don't feel like it.
7. Get a tattoo. Got one before him. Got the second one after marriage. Neither have anything to do with him, but I'm working on one that does. Next?
8. Explore a new religion. I know some about lots. My beliefs have changed since we've been together. I'm sure they're not done changing.
9. Start a small business. At 23? Or even 26? THAT is something I'm not ready for, but something that WE would love to do together. Awhile from now.
10. Cut your hair. ...because we live in biblical times, or....? Have you SEEN my hair lately??
11. Date two people at once Um, no. I thought it was icky then, still think it's icky now.
12. Build something with your hands. I...what?
13. Accomplish a Pinterest project. Oooookay.
14. Join the Peace Corps. Thought about it. Didn't. (I'm noticing that some of these suggestions are considerably more time-intensive and commitment-heavy than others...)
15. Disappoint your parents. I did when I started piercing stuff. Also did when I didn't marry a Catholic. Check and CHECK.
16. Watch Girls, over and over again. I tried watching it once and just couldn't. Now, Gilmore Girls, YES. When Devin isn't home. Sometimes when he is.
17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting. Dude, Devin and I FIGHT over the Nutella. He knows to buy the giant-size jars.
18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places. That is one of our favorite things to do when we go out. Apart, we're useless!
19. Sign up for CrossFit. Again, no.
20. Hangout naked in front of a window. Yes, that happens periodically.
21. Write your feelings down in a blog. WTF am I doing right now??
22. Be selfish. Oh, I'm plenty selfish. I never refuse my husband's offer to rub my feet or make dinner.
23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year. No. I lack time, money, and a desire to even share breathing space with you, none of which are related to my marital status.
I mean, come on. I feel like she's trying to be somewhat satirical, but it doesn't translate well. It just seems judgmental, condescending, and uninformed. I will agree that plenty of 23-year-olds aren't ready for marriage, and when I hear that certain people in my age range have gotten engaged/married, I silently think, "hmm, wonder how long that'll last?" But damn. That doesn't apply to everyone just because of age. We got married because we knew this was it. And we didn't want to wait until some preconceived notion of appropriate marrying age because, well, we didn't care, and we were ready. The end.
