Careful! Don't love too hard.

Inspired by a conversation I had a few weeks ago, complete with footnotes.

I was talking with a man who was going through a "nasty" divorce. I do not know on what grounds the divorce was based on, but from the sound of things, SHE was PISSED. Anyways, the man noticed my wedding ring and said, "Ah, it looks like you're married."

Me: "Yes, I am."

"Happily, I hope?"

"Sure. It's been about 8 months now."

"Yeah, the first 8 months can be good." *pause* "Do you guys have joint checking accounts?"

"...yes..." *sensing impending doomsday-type advice*

"So did we. I found out that almost 2 years ago she started putting everything in HER name."

"Wow...that's crazy. I don't think I could ever do anything like that." *wanted to say many more things, but really, what CAN you say?*

"Well I didn't think she would either, but she did."

His point?

"Be careful."

Be careful. In more words, be careful with the person you devote your life to. Be careful that you don't fully trust them. Be careful, because everyone, EVERYONE, will screw you over(1).

I retold this conversation to my husband a few hours later, and we confessed that we had probably never been "careful" with each other. I said, "Maybe in the first two weeks." And we wholeheartedly agreed on several things:

1) That the kind of "careful" that says, "Let's keep our money separate," is basically a poor man's pre-nup. It says, "I don't know if I trust you. If (when) we break up, I want to make sure I'm safe." I'm sure there are exceptions to this. I know that there are people who have spending/gambling problems, and maybe that really is a safety issue, and keeping their money separate actually helps these couples stay together. But I think that's a minority.

2) That "be careful" is some of the worst possible advice for a marriage. It's good in the early stages of dating. It's probably also good in a divorce. But for a marriage? There's no room for careful. There's no room for doubt or mistrust. There's a reason it's called "taking the plunge(2)," because you have to take a blind leap of faith, and hope and trust that you won't fall on rocks but on a bed of MARSHMALLOWS(3)!


3) That dogs, beer, cuddling, and Netflix are the best things ever (4).



So there you have it: insights from a newlywed. Go ahead, laugh(5).

Do these faces look careful to you??

P.S. Devin said earlier, "You're great." I said, "How'm I great?" Reason number 1: "I can call you on my way home and say, 'Baby, I need beer.' And you will go out and get goooood beer." :-D



(1) Except your dog.
(2) The only other plunge I've taken was a literal one from a 30-foot cliff into water. Marriage was an infinitely better decision.
(3) I think marshmallows and love go very well together, be it in metaphor or reality.
(4) Unrelated.
(5) Just be careful you don't choke or bust a gut.

Goings-ons

Yep. I'm a terrible blogger. But here are some things that have been going on in our world!

In dog world, Wash passed his Canine Good Citizen test with flying colors. Here he is with his completed evaluation sheet:

Being a Canine Good Citizen means that he can follow basic commands - "sit," "down," and "stay"; he knows how to greet strangers and other dogs appropriately; he walks nicely on leash; he lets strangers handle him (brushing, feet, ears); and he doesn't become overly anxious when we leave his sight. He still doesn't like it when strange people come into the house, but he has improved tremendously from when we first got him!

Meanwhile, Chewy has been having a bit of a rough year. Starting in March, he got what looked to be a spider bite on one of his paws. He had to wear the cone of shame for a week so that he wouldn't lick it and give it a chance to heal. Then, both dogs came down with some bug that gave them both diarrhea and vomiting. A little medication cleared that up. Then, they both came down with a mild case of kennel cough. THEN, one day after daycare I noticed Chewy having some trembling in his legs, and for a few days he was particularly lethargic. The vet diagnosed some kind of back strain/injury, and he underwent two rounds of laser therapy + pain medication. I have to admit, laser therapy was kind of fun and interesting, and the "doggles" they put on him were insanely cute!

Most recently, he had some odd growths removed from his paws (seriously, both vets that looked at them said, "Wow, that's odd..." Some kind of extra paw pad growing symmetrically on both front paws) Here he is, looking ultra-pathetic shortly after coming home from the vet:

For now, he is happy and healthy. And now that the weather has stopped with the insane heat, we've been doing short training sessions almost every day to REALLY crack down on his intense anxiety around other dogs. He has improved a little, but this will definitely take some time. We wonder if his reactions are a result of some kind of attack when he was chained up/on a leash before we got him. Poor little pup...
We've had him for almost a full year now, and I can't wait for his "birthday" - we're buying him a nice new collar and getting him groomed professionally at Good Dog. I'm sure there will also be some particularly tasty treats involved!

Moving on to other subjects - AND SPEAKING OF MOVING - we are! We found a really nice townhouse for rent in Broad Ripple, half a mile at most from Good Dog so I can walk to work. Yahoo! Devin's commute will be about the same, maybe a tad shorter. The place is 1200 sq feet, 2 bed/1.5 bath, comes with washer and dryer, small fenced courtyard in the back, and the only utility we pay is electricity. Lots of closets and a bigger kitchen! And the guy who's just moved out put a doggy door in the back :) The move will be in mid to late September.

In other good news, I got the job of color guard director for a high school in downtown Indy. It's not the same level of intensity that I've done before - they only have 2 competitions all season, 2 practices a week, and a five minute show (compared to the 7 or 8 competitions, daily practices, and 10-12 minute shows I'm used to!) But I'm glad to be teaching and spinning a flag again. I'm also glad to be dancing again - the same week that guard started, I joined a contemporary dance class at a nearby studio. Let me just say that one class a week isn't enough! I want more!! Devin also got a raise and job title change last month - he is now the lighting and sound technician for the Center (formerly assistant electrician).

It's now almost time for me to head to guard practice. I have another post on deck for sometime later (maybe in another month? :-p) Thanks for reading, everyone!

All About Wash

Yes, it's been awhile since I've blogged. Sorry...we've been busy! I guess that's what happens when we both work full-time or close to it. Here is a post that I wanted to write almost 3 months ago, but it's okay that it's just now getting done - here's the story, progress, and personality of our second rescue dog, Wash!

His very first day in his new home - not quite sure what to think!

With getting my job at Good Dog came the talk, and the search for dog #2. We had wanted to get Chewy a playmate and once we knew we'd have that extra source of income, it didn't take long for us to find a new someone to bring into our lives. His name was Billy, and he was in foster care after being found as a stray at a school near Plainfield, IN (southwest of Indy). After meeting him at a PetCo adoption event and filling out the application the week before, on March 10 we introduced Chewy to his new brother, Billy - whose name we changed to Wash. Yes, it's a bit unusual; he's named after a character from the cancelled TV show "Firefly" and the movie "Serenity." Here's the original Wash, expert spaceship pilot:

Wash and Chewy were best friends almost immediately, but once we got them both home and they played into the evening hours, Chewy started giving us this look like, "Soooo...when's he going back to HIS house?" He wasn't the biggest fan of sharing our attention with his new brother at first (who it turns out is a bit of an attention HOG), but the two of them are still like peas in a pod.

So here's a few more details about Mr. Wash:
We really can't tell what he's mixed with. Corgi and possibly yellow lab? He's about ten pounds bigger than Chewy.
His ears are very bouncy when he walks. It's ridiculously adorable.
He has a VERY waggly tail. Naturally, it goes nuts when we come home after work. But sometimes even if you just look at him or say his name, his tail will reveal how pleased he is.  :)
He came to us with a thick, plush undercoat and he was as soft as a teddy bear. He has since shed this, and now he is less soft and looks quite a bit scrawnier than in these photos!
Like Chewy, he LOVES treats, but compared to Chewy he is much better with accepting simple praise as a reward. Chewy's attitude: "You don't have a treat? Well then why did you make me do stuff??"
Unlike Chewy, he doesn't go completely insane when he sees other dogs (yay!) (Chewy is also making small improvements with this)
Also unlike Chewy, he is wary of strangers, ESPECIALLY when they come into the apartment. But in the 3 months we've had him, he has improved tremendously with this. Between going to the dog park, daycare, and his new obedience class (class #3 was this past Sunday), he has gotten much better accepting the presence of strangers and often will seek attention from them. He meets new people several times a week and we can see him changing before our eyes, which is so rewarding. It's like he's discovering how much fun life can be; when we brought him home, he wouldn't stick his head out the car window, and he didn't really know how to play with toys. Now he ALWAYS has his head out the window, and will ask us to play tug o' war with him the way Chewy did. He still tends to be generally afraid of unfamiliar things, and he especially hates any kind of spray bottle. Hmm.

Also NOT a fan of baths!

Mornings consist of Wash whining to be let out of his crate (as early as 6:30, as late as 10). We let both dogs out and Wash will hop in bed and sandwich himself between us - sometimes rather violently! - and Chewy will pop up to say good morning and then take window lookout duty. The two of them do most of their playtime after their meals and they love to chase each other in circles around the couch.

 

 

They do a good job wearing each other out!

Look how curious the puppy is! (just this past Sunday)

In summary, we now have two dogs who each has his own unique set of idiosyncrasies. They are great dogs and we are working to make sure they are the BEST dogs they can possibly be. They make us laugh every day, and even though it hasn't even been a year yet, we can't imagine life without them! I'd never had a dog before Chewy, and now there's two....I'm just pleased as punch :)

Until next time-
Kathleen

As of late...

Man oh man, has life been crazy! Apologies for not writing a pre-honeymoon post, but most of those final days were spent editing photos and making last-minute arrangements. I hope you all got the chance to follow our adventures on the travel blog, but in case you'd like to catch up on what you missed, all the details of our adventures can be found here. I've also posted a photo album on facebook, and we're in the final editing stages of a video. All I can say to summarize is that we definitely fell in love with Hawai'i and can't wait to go back for more.

Upon our return (in the midst of Superbowl frenzy) we picked up Chewy from my sister's house, had one day to chill, and then went up to Wixom to celebrate Devin's dad's birthday. His mom had arranged for all 3 siblings to be there as a surprise, and it was a wonderful weekend of disc golf, game time, and general merriment.

Visiting Grandma K in the nursing home

Chewy with the birthday boy

They wore each other out!

Unfortunately, this blessed weekend also cursed 7 out of the 8 of us with a nasty stomach virus. I'll spare the gory details (although I feel I should add for posterity that this was the first time I had to puke out of a car window...), but after the worst had passed, Devin and I were cooped up for about 4 days, napping, watching movies, and just being bums in general. Extended honeymoon? Kinda, but not really...

So Devin finally made it back to work and I finally picked up on my to-do list - edited another round of photos, changed my name, submitted photos to a contest at TACA (was accepted!), and cooked a delicious vegetarian dinner for my love on Valentine's Day. Now, we aren't strict vegetarians, but partly because of cost and partly because of our health, I as chief grocery shopper only ever buy deli meat for sandwiches, and I wanted to challenge myself to cook something delicious, satisfying, and healthy. Anyways. 2 of the 3 recipes were found on Pinterest, which was a fun little foray in itself. For the appetizer I made strawberry-basil-goat cheese-balsamic bruschetta, and our main course was spicy cocoa carrots and butternut squash gnocchi. The gnocchi turned out pretty dry (probably because I disobeyed about 1/3 of the recipe...) but the bruschetta was amazing and the carrots were quite tasty, with the added bonus of being very easy to make. And here are some hopefully mouthwatering photos of my creations:

Bruschetta

Spicy coca roasted carrots

No photos of the gnocchi. It was ugly.


Earlier in the week, I happened to be perusing craigslist out of curiosity when I came upon a job listing at Good Dog Hotel & Spa...where I actually had a friend already working! Hey! There's some hope! So I messaged her and she talked to her managers. I applied on Friday the 10th, got a call on Saturday, interviewed on Wednesday and started work on Thursday the 16th. WOW. So Thurs-Sun I put in about 25 hours in the daycare, and while overwhelming at times, I can say that I definitely like the job - cool people, great dogs, relaxed atmosphere, AND I'll be able to bring Chewy with me. It's not anywhere near a "normal" job but then, I'm not really a normal person, am I? ;-) Really, I've wanted to work with animals for about as long as I can remember. First it was as a dolphin trainer, but I'm not a strong enough swimmer; then it was veterinarian for awhile until I realized I was much too squeamish. Marine biologist was a consideration until I heard about the tedium of things like measuring the acidity and salt content of seawater...sorry, I'm not really scientist material! But this. This is cool. And it's already under my skin. When your job is something your mind wanders to when you're driving to your mom's house, you're probably on the right track.

I'll end it here. My husband is on his way home, and I've got paczkis waiting for him. :-D Happy Fat Tuesday!

The New Year

Hello, loyal readers! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and left 2011 with happy memories and lessons learned. Devin and I had a great week visiting both of our families in IN, MI, and IL. Lots of driving - a big THANK YOU to my mom for giving us some gas cards for Christmas! I plan to post all of our photos on Facebook soon, but for now, here's the highlight reel:

Chewy got a present!! ...not looking too excited though...

He's too polite to tear it open in front of everyone, so "cousin" Daniel helped!

First Christmas photo!

First FAMILY photo!

In Wixom - the littlest member of the family :)

ANGRY NOMS

Chewy died for awhile.

Baby gets passed around...

Fun with Uncle Devin :)

...and Great-Grandma K. (winner!)

My husband in action!

Perfect :)

Having some playtime with Chewy...

...but he died again.

Ahh. Can't wait til we all get to hang out again ;-)

Onward, to 2012!

For pretty much the first time ever, I have set some New Year's resolutions, as follows...

-Stop sleeping in. Increases productivity! Devin has been great about helping me with this one so far, I just have to stop going back to bed after he leaves for work...it might sound lame, but this one is probably the hardest to deal with. I have REM issues.
-Keep showers under 15 minutes. Saves time, resources, and money! But oh, how I love my 1/2 hour showers...
-Spend (on average) 1 hour each day making art (including recreational photography, not including photo editing time). Must admit I've failed dismally at this one so far. Partially because we were keeping ourselves very busy with improving the apartment for a few days...partially because now, I can't stop sleeping. But I've ideas!
-Go to the gym at least once a week (I'd like to run a 5k this year). I realize it will probably take more workout time than this to run a decent 5k, but I have to start somewhere. Another starting point: pick a specific 5k race to enter!
-Buy more healthy food. Cut down on processed junk. I'd already started this one, but I'm going to be more diligent. I'll be buying gluten-free when I can; trying to buy more produce and actually COOK more, rather than boiling noodles and throwing some sauce on it...meat consumption is at a minimum. Fast food happens less than once a month. I rarely buy junk food, and never buy soda. I want to keep both of us healthy for as long as possible!

Maybe writing them down and sharing them with the world will help me stay on track. Help keep me accountable, friends!

On a more somber note, one of my close friends' mother passed away on New Year's Eve. Unfortunately I know too well how she feels; fortunately, I know how she feels. I am glad that I was able to take some time to be with her and help her with some of the funeral arrangements...but there is so much more to say on the subject of friends who have lost loved ones that I'd like to devote a separate post to it. To the tune of "here's what they're probably going through." Sometime. Later.

........
As 2012 goes, it's been interesting so far. We did have a couple of shopping sprees with Christmas/wedding money at IKEA and Target. There's still a few items on the "to get" list, but our place feels much more lived-in now! Photos of those endeavors will be posted soon.

In dog world, last week we went to the humane society and made a belated Christmas donation to help sponsor a dog's medical expenses (she's a sweet, adorable border collie/basset hound mix with a raging case of heartworm...poor girl!) and we also bought an annual membership to their dog park. We've been twice already, and Chewy LOVES it (and we love watching him - we'll have to take some video to show everyone!) He definitely still has some social skills to learn, but he's already figured out to beware the big dogs - a Great Dane/greyhound mix ran him down several times his first day! So there's my plug for dog parks: your dog will have fun, and you will too. Even if you're not feeling your best or having a bad day, this will make it better. Just be prepared for everyone to come home dirty!

On the honeymoon front, we've booked our lodgings, our inter-island flight, a morning snorkel session (possibly swimming with wild dolphins/whales/turtles/etc!), and a volcano hike; our rental cars are reserved and our transportation to and from IND is taken care of. We've purchased new bathing suits (neither of us had bought one in at least 7 years) and new hiking boots (for me); a new point n' shoot waterproof digital camera, extra memory cards for all 3 of our cameras. Yeah, this deserves a separate post so I can properly share all of our plans. * mental note*

I really need to post more so that these aren't so insanely long. If you're still with me, I applaud you, and will make you read no further. In closing: good night. And have a pleasant tomorrow :)