Inspired by a conversation I had a few weeks ago, complete with footnotes.
I was talking with a man who was going through a "nasty" divorce. I do not know on what grounds the divorce was based on, but from the sound of things, SHE was PISSED. Anyways, the man noticed my wedding ring and said, "Ah, it looks like you're married."
Me: "Yes, I am."
"Happily, I hope?"
"Sure. It's been about 8 months now."
"Yeah, the first 8 months can be good." *pause* "Do you guys have joint checking accounts?"
"...yes..." *sensing impending doomsday-type advice*
"So did we. I found out that almost 2 years ago she started putting everything in HER name."
"Wow...that's crazy. I don't think I could ever do anything like that." *wanted to say many more things, but really, what CAN you say?*
"Well I didn't think she would either, but she did."
His point?
"Be careful."
Be careful. In more words, be careful with the person you devote your life to. Be careful that you don't fully trust them. Be careful, because everyone, EVERYONE, will screw you over(1).
I retold this conversation to my husband a few hours later, and we confessed that we had probably never been "careful" with each other. I said, "Maybe in the first two weeks." And we wholeheartedly agreed on several things:
1) That the kind of "careful" that says, "Let's keep our money separate," is basically a poor man's pre-nup. It says, "I don't know if I trust you. If (when) we break up, I want to make sure I'm safe." I'm sure there are exceptions to this. I know that there are people who have spending/gambling problems, and maybe that really is a safety issue, and keeping their money separate actually helps these couples stay together. But I think that's a minority.
2) That "be careful" is some of the worst possible advice for a marriage. It's good in the early stages of dating. It's probably also good in a divorce. But for a marriage? There's no room for careful. There's no room for doubt or mistrust. There's a reason it's called "taking the plunge(2)," because you have to take a blind leap of faith, and hope and trust that you won't fall on rocks but on a bed of MARSHMALLOWS(3)!
3) That dogs, beer, cuddling, and Netflix are the best things ever (4).
So there you have it: insights from a newlywed. Go ahead, laugh(5).
P.S. Devin said earlier, "You're great." I said, "How'm I great?" Reason number 1: "I can call you on my way home and say, 'Baby, I need beer.' And you will go out and get goooood beer." :-D
(1) Except your dog.
(2) The only other plunge I've taken was a literal one from a 30-foot cliff into water. Marriage was an infinitely better decision.
(3) I think marshmallows and love go very well together, be it in metaphor or reality.
(4) Unrelated.
(5) Just be careful you don't choke or bust a gut.
I was talking with a man who was going through a "nasty" divorce. I do not know on what grounds the divorce was based on, but from the sound of things, SHE was PISSED. Anyways, the man noticed my wedding ring and said, "Ah, it looks like you're married."
Me: "Yes, I am."
"Happily, I hope?"
"Sure. It's been about 8 months now."
"Yeah, the first 8 months can be good." *pause* "Do you guys have joint checking accounts?"
"...yes..." *sensing impending doomsday-type advice*
"So did we. I found out that almost 2 years ago she started putting everything in HER name."
"Wow...that's crazy. I don't think I could ever do anything like that." *wanted to say many more things, but really, what CAN you say?*
"Well I didn't think she would either, but she did."
His point?
"Be careful."
Be careful. In more words, be careful with the person you devote your life to. Be careful that you don't fully trust them. Be careful, because everyone, EVERYONE, will screw you over(1).
I retold this conversation to my husband a few hours later, and we confessed that we had probably never been "careful" with each other. I said, "Maybe in the first two weeks." And we wholeheartedly agreed on several things:
1) That the kind of "careful" that says, "Let's keep our money separate," is basically a poor man's pre-nup. It says, "I don't know if I trust you. If (when) we break up, I want to make sure I'm safe." I'm sure there are exceptions to this. I know that there are people who have spending/gambling problems, and maybe that really is a safety issue, and keeping their money separate actually helps these couples stay together. But I think that's a minority.
2) That "be careful" is some of the worst possible advice for a marriage. It's good in the early stages of dating. It's probably also good in a divorce. But for a marriage? There's no room for careful. There's no room for doubt or mistrust. There's a reason it's called "taking the plunge(2)," because you have to take a blind leap of faith, and hope and trust that you won't fall on rocks but on a bed of MARSHMALLOWS(3)!
3) That dogs, beer, cuddling, and Netflix are the best things ever (4).
So there you have it: insights from a newlywed. Go ahead, laugh(5).
 |
| Do these faces look careful to you?? |
P.S. Devin said earlier, "You're great." I said, "How'm I great?" Reason number 1: "I can call you on my way home and say, 'Baby, I need beer.' And you will go out and get goooood beer." :-D
(1) Except your dog.
(2) The only other plunge I've taken was a literal one from a 30-foot cliff into water. Marriage was an infinitely better decision.
(3) I think marshmallows and love go very well together, be it in metaphor or reality.
(4) Unrelated.
(5) Just be careful you don't choke or bust a gut.
Marshmallows and love. Well said.
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head, my dear. And oh, btw, you two don't have anything to worry about. Nobody else could make those faces at each other and stay together as long as you have. :-)
ReplyDeleteHey girl! I enjoy following your blog and seeing what shenanigans you all are up to! I think you should definitely keep posting!! It's been so much fun to follow! Because I think you are such a cool chick and I think your blogs are so delightful, I have nominated you for the Liebster Award! You can check out the details here: http://2lovebirdsbuildinganest.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-liebster-award.html . Keep posting about the Schonsheck Shenanigans! Ya'll are a hoot and absolutely adorable! Wishing many blessings for 2013!!
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