Careful! Don't love too hard.

Inspired by a conversation I had a few weeks ago, complete with footnotes.

I was talking with a man who was going through a "nasty" divorce. I do not know on what grounds the divorce was based on, but from the sound of things, SHE was PISSED. Anyways, the man noticed my wedding ring and said, "Ah, it looks like you're married."

Me: "Yes, I am."

"Happily, I hope?"

"Sure. It's been about 8 months now."

"Yeah, the first 8 months can be good." *pause* "Do you guys have joint checking accounts?"

"...yes..." *sensing impending doomsday-type advice*

"So did we. I found out that almost 2 years ago she started putting everything in HER name."

"Wow...that's crazy. I don't think I could ever do anything like that." *wanted to say many more things, but really, what CAN you say?*

"Well I didn't think she would either, but she did."

His point?

"Be careful."

Be careful. In more words, be careful with the person you devote your life to. Be careful that you don't fully trust them. Be careful, because everyone, EVERYONE, will screw you over(1).

I retold this conversation to my husband a few hours later, and we confessed that we had probably never been "careful" with each other. I said, "Maybe in the first two weeks." And we wholeheartedly agreed on several things:

1) That the kind of "careful" that says, "Let's keep our money separate," is basically a poor man's pre-nup. It says, "I don't know if I trust you. If (when) we break up, I want to make sure I'm safe." I'm sure there are exceptions to this. I know that there are people who have spending/gambling problems, and maybe that really is a safety issue, and keeping their money separate actually helps these couples stay together. But I think that's a minority.

2) That "be careful" is some of the worst possible advice for a marriage. It's good in the early stages of dating. It's probably also good in a divorce. But for a marriage? There's no room for careful. There's no room for doubt or mistrust. There's a reason it's called "taking the plunge(2)," because you have to take a blind leap of faith, and hope and trust that you won't fall on rocks but on a bed of MARSHMALLOWS(3)!


3) That dogs, beer, cuddling, and Netflix are the best things ever (4).



So there you have it: insights from a newlywed. Go ahead, laugh(5).

Do these faces look careful to you??

P.S. Devin said earlier, "You're great." I said, "How'm I great?" Reason number 1: "I can call you on my way home and say, 'Baby, I need beer.' And you will go out and get goooood beer." :-D



(1) Except your dog.
(2) The only other plunge I've taken was a literal one from a 30-foot cliff into water. Marriage was an infinitely better decision.
(3) I think marshmallows and love go very well together, be it in metaphor or reality.
(4) Unrelated.
(5) Just be careful you don't choke or bust a gut.

Goings-ons

Yep. I'm a terrible blogger. But here are some things that have been going on in our world!

In dog world, Wash passed his Canine Good Citizen test with flying colors. Here he is with his completed evaluation sheet:

Being a Canine Good Citizen means that he can follow basic commands - "sit," "down," and "stay"; he knows how to greet strangers and other dogs appropriately; he walks nicely on leash; he lets strangers handle him (brushing, feet, ears); and he doesn't become overly anxious when we leave his sight. He still doesn't like it when strange people come into the house, but he has improved tremendously from when we first got him!

Meanwhile, Chewy has been having a bit of a rough year. Starting in March, he got what looked to be a spider bite on one of his paws. He had to wear the cone of shame for a week so that he wouldn't lick it and give it a chance to heal. Then, both dogs came down with some bug that gave them both diarrhea and vomiting. A little medication cleared that up. Then, they both came down with a mild case of kennel cough. THEN, one day after daycare I noticed Chewy having some trembling in his legs, and for a few days he was particularly lethargic. The vet diagnosed some kind of back strain/injury, and he underwent two rounds of laser therapy + pain medication. I have to admit, laser therapy was kind of fun and interesting, and the "doggles" they put on him were insanely cute!

Most recently, he had some odd growths removed from his paws (seriously, both vets that looked at them said, "Wow, that's odd..." Some kind of extra paw pad growing symmetrically on both front paws) Here he is, looking ultra-pathetic shortly after coming home from the vet:

For now, he is happy and healthy. And now that the weather has stopped with the insane heat, we've been doing short training sessions almost every day to REALLY crack down on his intense anxiety around other dogs. He has improved a little, but this will definitely take some time. We wonder if his reactions are a result of some kind of attack when he was chained up/on a leash before we got him. Poor little pup...
We've had him for almost a full year now, and I can't wait for his "birthday" - we're buying him a nice new collar and getting him groomed professionally at Good Dog. I'm sure there will also be some particularly tasty treats involved!

Moving on to other subjects - AND SPEAKING OF MOVING - we are! We found a really nice townhouse for rent in Broad Ripple, half a mile at most from Good Dog so I can walk to work. Yahoo! Devin's commute will be about the same, maybe a tad shorter. The place is 1200 sq feet, 2 bed/1.5 bath, comes with washer and dryer, small fenced courtyard in the back, and the only utility we pay is electricity. Lots of closets and a bigger kitchen! And the guy who's just moved out put a doggy door in the back :) The move will be in mid to late September.

In other good news, I got the job of color guard director for a high school in downtown Indy. It's not the same level of intensity that I've done before - they only have 2 competitions all season, 2 practices a week, and a five minute show (compared to the 7 or 8 competitions, daily practices, and 10-12 minute shows I'm used to!) But I'm glad to be teaching and spinning a flag again. I'm also glad to be dancing again - the same week that guard started, I joined a contemporary dance class at a nearby studio. Let me just say that one class a week isn't enough! I want more!! Devin also got a raise and job title change last month - he is now the lighting and sound technician for the Center (formerly assistant electrician).

It's now almost time for me to head to guard practice. I have another post on deck for sometime later (maybe in another month? :-p) Thanks for reading, everyone!